Please Kill Yourself – J. Vaughn


Most people don’t know this, but life is just an endless loop. When you die, you’re reborn as yourself, not anyone new (or some other life form). You also forget everything about your past life, so you walk into the new life believing it’s your first. The concept of reincarnation almost had it right. I personally like that spiritual system more because there’s something hopeful and beautiful about it. But, unfortunately, you’re stuck as yourself forever until the end of time, which is probably never. This could be awesome if you’re a happy, wealthy person, but for others it’s miserable. Suicide will only bring you back to the start, only to relive the pain. Suicide loop is pointless, but so is a full life cycle if you think about it. This is the existentialist’s greatest nightmare, but the closure is pretty nice, I’m sure some people will find it relieving.

Oh, I was wrong about something though. Your life is not just an endless loop. It’s possible to remember bits and pieces of your past life, which is known as Recall. And trust me, that shit is gold. You can use that information to better your current life and the next (strategy known as Stacking) which will inevitably alter your behavior and others. This consequently becomes the driving force of change in the universe after each iteration, so calling it an endless loop is inaccurate. The world is moving forward, for some at least.

But how is that possible, you must be wondering. These flashes of memory manifest themselves in many ways and some are more powerful than others. The most volatile form of Recall is through dreams and the phenomenon we call Déjà Vu. However, they are extremely forgettable due to neurological conditions the mind undergoes to produce such visions. Even if you’re able to remember the Recall, it is unlikely that you will believe it as truth. The most tangible way you can attain past memories is by being Visited, which is as rare as winning a lottery. An angel-like being will visit your dying self to deliver a message to your next incarnation, and it will do whatever necessary to convince you.

I know all of this because I’m one of the few who have been visited. I died a horrific death in my past life and my message, or warning, was to avoid the girl in the red dress. I was told this two years ago, now I’m 24. I avoided every girl wearing a red dress since then. That’s my ridiculous strategy. I see a girl wearing one in the street, I cross to the other side. I see one at a party, I leave. I see women I know wearing one, I ghost them.

A life like this gets lonely. I don’t meet a lot of women now, as you can guess. I usually spend my days glancing out the window, where I feel safe. Nothing interesting happened the past two years I wasted by people watching, until a week ago. Every woman who walked by my apartment wore a red dress. An insane coincidence? Maybe, it’s probable, but this trend hasn’t stopped.


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