Are You OK? – N. Ulrich

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Am I OK? That’s the question that you want to ask me, that’s the question everybody asks me, and you know what? The answer is very gray. Yes and No, simply because I won’t be OK again for a long time.

Getting over you is not easy, for simple reasons. Nobody ever loved me the way you loved me. Nobody ever believed in me the way that you did. Nobody ever pushed me like you did, nobody looked at me the way you do, so no, I’m not OK. But you gave me confidence, you made me believe, you showed me that I can do things that I want to do and that I should, so yes I am OK.

I miss you every day and every night. You gave me things back that you borrowed from me, and all I do is hold them to my face and smell you. I never want to wash those clothes again because I feel like if I do I’d be washing you away, so no I’m not OK. But you seem good. You seem like you’re finally finding your own confidence. You said that I showed you that you deserve to be loved, that you deserved to be respected and that you’re allowed to make mistakes and you need to forgive yourself, so if I taught you those things then yes I am OK.

So the answer to the question is both: No I’m not OK because I don’t have you. Yes I am OK because I did have you.

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