Small excerpt from When Life Gets In the Way – by Ines Vieira
I couldn’t look away. I had missed her too god damned much and this proximity was fucking excruciating. With every song that the band played, she seemed freer, more alive and it was intoxicating to watch.
I’m not sure what moment made me decide to lose my fucking mind. Maybe it was when she leaned back on my shoulder. Maybe it was when I felt her sway against my thigh. I really couldn’t say. All I know is that one moment my hands were clutching the rail on her sides and the next they were on her waist.
My thumbs began stroking her skin softly. There was so much noise all around us, but I still heard her gasp. She stopped moving her body to the music just as I had begun moving mine. With one finger I gently traced an invisible line from the back of her ear, down to her neck and again down her whole back. Skin shouldn’t be this soft, this tempting. I felt my mouth water and go dry all at the same time. The only bass I heard, was that of my own heart thumping away in my ears but I couldn’t stop.
I leaned in closer and kissed that sweet part where her shoulder met her neck, and I felt her shiver in my arms. I held her back tightly to me placing one hand on her waist and another on her flat stomach. I continued my own personal torture. This was going to end me, but I still couldn’t stop. I kissed her softly again, this time on her neck, making my way up to her ear while the hand I had placed in front of her found its way inside her shirt caressing her belly button.
When I finally reached that perfect small diamond stud with my mouth, I bit the very lobe it was in. My hand spread out flat on her stomach and I felt my thumb brush under her breast and that’s when I felt her lean back and lay her hands on my thighs. All of me reacted to this one touch, and I lost sight of anyone that was around us. I grabbed her waist with both hands and swung her to face me pulling her chest to hit hard on mine. With one hand gripping her lower back and the other already behind her neck, I crashed into her mouth without even asking permission with my eyes. My lips were hard on hers and my tongue was merciless. I wanted to crawl in her and conquer each and every part of her mouth. I felt her arms around my neck and her fingers dig in my hair pushing me to go even deeper. I felt her supple tongue caress mine with delicious strokes. When she moaned into my mouth, my whole body burned in flames. We were all teeth and tongue and swollen lips. She tugged at my hair and I bit her bottom lip playfully before sucking and nibbling on it.
Her hands were on either side of my face making me look into those hazel eyes that I had dreamt about for months. They were full of desire and want. They were full of love, but I had seen this look before and it had already fooled me once. I wouldn’t let it fool me again. It was my imagination that got me to believe that this look was real, and it had broken me in too many ways when I realized that it wasn’t. I was still gluing up the pieces and after my weakened resolve tonight, I would have to start all over again. I reprimanded myself for being this powerless around her. I pulled myself away and look over to the side. Both my cousins and Ronnie were staring at us flabbergasted. I leaned over so that only Tony could hear me.
“I gotta go. You ok to take the girls back to the hotel?”
He nods and gives my shoulder a quick squeeze. I look over to Jess and tell her that Tony will take them back. She nods and kisses my cheek with concern in her eyes. It’s the first time in months that she looks like she’s worried about me. I turn around and start to make my way to the stairs. I don’t even say goodbye to Cassandra.
I have to put as much distance between Cass and me that is humanly possible. My whole body is angry at me for stopping the make-out session when I did, and my heart is livid for even starting. I run down the stairs and I don’t look back.
Only when I reach the outside of the club am I able to see how truly screwed I really am.