Tainted Glass pt.9 – Takoda Poindexter

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Stinging pain flooded into George as blood dripped down his wrists and painted the white sink red.

It doesn’t hurt, it feels pleasant. Can I trust Timothy? I want to…

He washed his razor and wrist quickly, and then wrapped his wrist tightly with gauze.

I’m going to have to wear long sleeves for a while. I’m fine, it’s okay, nobody saw me. Life is hard, and I’m not even out in real life yet.

George shut and locked the door to his room and glared at his phone.

Should I?

Before he realized it, he was holding his phone and scrolling through his newsfeed. Nothing. He typed Michael’s name and viewed his profile again, his paranoia eating him slowly. A new post from Michael flashed against his glossy, unseeing eyes.

Going to the movies with Tim and his mom tonight!

It was a picture of Michael and Timothy in the car with Timothy’s mom. George’s heart began to crack as he dropped his phone numbly onto his bed.

We are supposed to go to the movies. We are supposed to be together. Why do I even try? I just want to…

George un-wrapped the gauze wrap, stared at the cuts apathetically, and then dug his nails into the gaping manifestations of his inner pain. He winced before falling back into bed. Blood spilled onto his shirt.

I’m never good enough…

George counted the cuts in his head as he struggled to find sleep.

One, I’m ugly. Two, I’m overweight. Three, I’m gullible. Four, I’m too passive. Five, I’m stupid…

*          *

Meagan’s stomach grew heavy with butterflies as Dom’s face grew closer to hers.

“We’ll have to do this again sometime. I enjoyed every minute of it.” Dom enclosed Meagan with a hug.

I…I…This warm, fuzzy feeling…I’ve never felt it before.

Meagan hugged him lightly back, not sure of her own feelings. She had haphephobia, the fear of being touched, and she shuddered as she felt his warm, smooth skin against hers.

“I’m sorry, I’m not the juxtapose kind of girl…” She rubbed her right arm awkwardly as she stepped back.

“You just have to get use to me first, but you will be soon enough. Text me when you get home safely.” He winked as he got into his car and drove off, leaving Meagan with yet another warm, fuzzy feeling in her stomach. All of the butterflies melted and her heart twitched with perplexity.

She took her phone out and immediately texted George:

For the first time, I think I’m in love! I’ll tell you about it tomorrow!

 

*          *

 

George felt himself falling into an abyss. He swam in the blackness trying to see if he was falling, floating, or rising. All he saw was nothing, and nothing is what he accepted.

Am I dead? Is this the end? He thought distantly

“No, you’re not dead.” A deep, soft voice echoed around his murky surroundings.

Who are you? George could not speak, nor could he feel any of his body parts.

“I am not you, but I could be you. It depends on how you interpret this.”

Are you God?

“If that’s what you want me to be.”

I don’t know what I want you to be…I want to be fine.

“What is your definition of fine, George?”

To be happy instead of miserable.

“There’s only one way you can be happy.”

Which is?

“Look inside yourself. You’re already doing so. You can’t see anything because you’re in the way of finding yourself.”

How am I…

“You will understand soon.”

Again George was surrounded by silence; he felt nothing, saw nothing, and heard nothing.

Lead had entered his heart.

Follow along from the beginning

Tainted Glass pt. 1 – Takoda Poindexter

Tainted Glass pt. 2 – Takoda Poindexter

Tainted Glass pt. 3 – Takoda Poindexter

Tainted Glass pt. 4 – Takoda Poindexter

Tainted Glass pt. 5 – Takoda Poindexter

Tainted Glass pt. 6 – Takoda Poindexter

Tainted Glass pt. 7 – Takoda Poindexter

Tainted Glass pt. 8 – Takoda Poindexter

 

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